Mood:  chillin'

Hello, how are you? I hope all is well. I thought I'd e-mail you since I haven't for awhile. I don't go to my e-mail that often or get on the computer that often. I've been working on a story and that keeps me pretty busy. I haven't been doing much lately, just the story and talking to friends online. Liam, my friend from the UK is in China on vacation. I think he's got more money that sense. He's a good friend no matter how egotistical he is! I've known him for a long time, past five years. We're like brother and sister and we fight like it, too. He's a good person but a very strong athiest. I know a lot of people that feel that way. I don't try to preach to him because I know how that feels. You don't want to wave your finger at someone who really just needs to see your faith in action. Anyway, not much else is going on. I've been trying to write a decent letter to Aaron but it's like my other writings and poetry, I have to rewrite it five times until I like it exactly as is. I've very picky about my writing and constantly doubt my abilities. I forgot to tell you, but FAFSA denied me. I won't be getting any grants or anything and I was really counting on that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'll probably have to take student loans. My doctor told me to get on SSI (disability) and that would help with tuition. It's like 600 a month and that would really help. But it takes a lot to do it, you have to apply several times and even if you get approved it'll take forever.But I'm okay with that. As mom says, everybody has to be somewhere and you're going to be where you are regardless... It's not like I have anything better to do and I plan on taking my time with college because I really want to get it right. I've thought about going into nursing but you're highschool grades depend on if you can get into it. My grades were crap and I don't have a chance! The early childhood development doesn't involve much math... which is really good for me.

I don't know if you noticed the necklace I had on at dinner, but it's so beautiful. Obie actually bought it for me at the pow wow and surprised me later with it. I was so honored. Indeka got me a bracelet, the one I always wear.. it's pink beads and one blue bead in the middle and two orange beads in the back where It's held together. I added the blue and orange beads when the origional bracelet broke. I re-strung it and added the beads to it. I have stretchy material for the rope/string of the bracelet. And my mom got me the ring I always wear. So I never forget how much I'm loved when I look at all the things. Things don't really matter but in a way it's an expression of love and that's what means the most to me. I don'really care for diamonds, real ones that is. The people in Africa are still getting killed over them. Mom got mine from QVC so I know they didn't get it from being mean to people.

So anyway, not much is going on at the moment... I'm watching my daily cartoons, gotta get my fill.

I was hit on by a guy and he asked me out but I turned him down. I'm not ready to date anyone. Not unless they walk on water and can handle my insanity... but I only know one person that can do that! Yesterday I tried to print out a poem that I had written but the stupid printer wouldn't work. I have 2 now. One for mom and the big computer and one for me for school and my laptop. They're both good printers. But anyway, I'll include a poem or two in this e-mail. Preacher (Gary Nelson) liked them. He said I express my pain and hurt rather well. I write dark things because that's how I get my relief. I'm in a club kind of thing online. It's really good because other writers are on there and they can help you with things you need work on. Sometimes they can be mean, but I don't take those to heart. A lot of people tell me how great my poems are, but I'm not sure if I believe them. Well, I'm sorry this is so long, I just have a lot to say.  I hope all is well with you. I wanted to tell you- put my name in the gift thing for Christmas. I'm old enough I should start doing the name thing for Christmas at grandma's. I hope you know what I'm talking about- the exchange of names for Christmas... if you've already done it don't worry about it. And if you haven't I'll try to remind you every now and then. Anyway, I also wanted to thank you for taking me out to dinner and paying for it. But I need to pay a few times too. I also want to thank you for not taking what I've said in the past to heart. When I get angry I say things I don't mean. I know not everything is your fault, some of it is mine. But sometimes I get angry with the things you say or do. I know I'm not the perfect Christian, I don't even like the word because it's been distorted and taken advantage of. I don't really like church and I think that's okay. I know that neither Aaron nor I turned out the way you wanted, but we both need to hear good things from you. I will never forget when you looked at me at the banquet and told me you're proud of me. That meant the world to me. And Aaron needs to hear that too. It would mean a lot to him, more than you can imagine. He's a good person, just a little messed up sometimes. I don't like people bad mouthing him and maybe that's because I understand where he's coming from. I know what it's liked to be locked up. It's not pleasant. But I know he's going to get thru it and be a better person because of it. Atleast that's what I pray. Well, again, sorry this so long... I'll talk to you later... tell me when you want to do dinner again and this time bring a C.D. player! hehe...

Love always,

-Katie